Reflections

Its 3.49am now. I have no mood to do my wpb.

Damn boring.

I'm tired of this life. Tired of no purpose. Tired of looking for something. That something could be anything.

I'm just tired. I saw no meaning in living for no purpose, no direction.

Can someone fucking help me recarinate, so i can fucking live a new life?

Sometimes i wanna cry, why am i so useless?

NB...CB...KNN...CCB....LJ.....FUCK...

Sorry, i just have to vent my frustration, mood swing bah. I cannot continue this way.

Can i turn back the time?

No.

I can be never contend with myself, i'm just a useless piece of shit.

I envy my old schoolmates with the progress they made.

I'm just backtracking.

*Don't wait for me. No point holding to a piece of trash.

Summary of AB Chevron Outing

Just came back from the chalet at Chevron this morning.

Damn tired.

The tournament starts from 9 pm.

and ends at 6 in the morning! can you believe it? 9 freaking long hours!

12 players only.

I lost the winning 11 tournament konami cup, i was eliminated at knock-out phrase after qualifying from group stages. One of the reasons is probably because i was tired towards 5 am like this, then never concentrate.

The plus point is that i eliminated Hafiz, the big tournament favourite. Everybody was in awe of him. I was going out in the tournament, but i turned the tables. Unfortunately after that, i didn't proceed far.

Didn't felt very sad, because i never succeed in anything de la. Certainly not as sad as my team knock out of the soccer tournament for the second year in the running.

Soccer tournament or console games tournament also lose.

Had a great time although i lost all my wallet's $ in betting and blackjack. Total loss about 50, because the registration fee for the console game cause $25, if i didn't win it means also lose loh. Get to meet all the AB guys , some of them very funny, i blend well with them, i was the youngest though, their average age was around 23-25.

Weird right? A 19 year old mix with the 23+ old ones.

But those profilic tipsters from AB, never come lei, but not very disappointed la, can meet others face to face.

We talk about those soccer betting related things loh, very interesting. That day was also Sister Maymei's birthday, a regular in AB, she was very nice. I had some bbq food and cake.

Zola, Yang2 was very friendly. So was MVF and co. If you thought their names was very funny, you are wrong. Because we called each other by the nicknames in the AB forum.

They siao de, even console games they also got bookmarkers de. The bookies get a chair outside the sliding door (RE: to prevent the others from leaking the info and fix the console game match) and start offering odds and taking bets. Those who want to bet, has to go behind the sliding door to bet because scare the players *kelong.

I got bet abit la, lose about $30. Then after that we played blackjack.

I was lucky, starting to win back my $ after losing in the bets.

Then after i was knocked out in the console games. My luck changed, dipped.

Finally, i lost all of my wallet's $. Left 50 cents only. Poor thing. Then after that i go take a nap, they woke me up later and Zola's friend drove me home because he lived near woodlands too

MISC

Saw that girl on lucas testimonial tab. Seen her on person on friday, very pretty. Although lucas asked me if i want to know her, but i said no, too pai seh le.

Reflections

Today, i felt inferior.

Because coincidentally i saw Bryan, Lucas and Hafiz.

3 Very handsome guys.

Dull comparison loh, if i stand beside them.

Since i came to Clementi ITE, my ego is very big, i want to 'top' everything. But in life, you cannot win everything. You cannot top everyone. Today was a neat example. Even if i top in studies, sports and etc, i can never be as handsome as them.

Many people said i'm cute.

Cute = Adorable but UGLY

They go 1 1/2 round shoot me.

If i could mould my own body and face features i would :

1. Remove all the pimples and large pores
2. Make my head smaller
3. Make my lips thinner
4. Replace all the fats with muscles (no packs on face pls)
5. Taller

2.4 KM NAFA TEST

I remembered vividly, my best timing in 2.4 km run is when i was at sec 3/4, if i'm not wrong is 10:21 secs.

That was 3/4 years ago.

Today i ran 10:31 secs (although i put 10:00 at the record hah.), not bad huh, consider how much weight i gain these few years and laziness to train.

Not bad.

I thought i was 1st in the class. I felt very good.

Nb, diaoz. Darius was first, i never notice he was infront of me until he told me his timing, 10:03 secs. Very fast loh.

Darius 45 KG = 10.03 secs

Lawrence 73 KG = 10.31 secs

Imagine, Lawrence 45 KG = ??:?? secs

Priscilla won 3rd place in teenage icon! so proud for her as a friend. Today abit tired to cheer and didn't cheer much cause my hands also cramped le, holding the camcorder up.

Although i wish for her to win the competition, but a 3rd place finish is pretty good too.

The winner is ming bridges.

A pretty ang moh, 13 years old only (my god!), nice figure too.

Ming Bridges

Not my type.

Anyway i think the reasons Pris did not win is because (dun blame me pris)

• She don't have the X-factor
• She went off key
• She aren't richer than ming bridges (because votes contains a percentage of score, those who buy follow me products are eligible to vote only)
• The attire was wrong (who chose the clothes for her?) The semis u wore is better.

Sorry pris. i'm just being honest. =)

Anyway Josh and Lucas drool over the ang moh girl loh, look here, look there.

What's the big deal? Josh like very despo loh, Lucas maybe eager to find another one?

Josh is so dirty-minded to my shock. I skipped on what he said la.

i mean her figure is good, face is chio but so? look long alr, also sian la.

Maybe at the semis i see before so i not excited, let alone fascinated. Maybe she's only 13, so young, not tempting enough and ang moh won't like we poor asians.

Dunno. Maybe bah.

Updated: Flattered that Phersal and Priscilla Ho( Teenage icon contestant) praised me, damn pai seh loh.

Super updated: *Thanks Priscilla Lim too for whatever the reason =)

Its 5.44am now and i have not sleep. Fuck, i now always so late then sleep, sooner later i become a owl, or have dark circle round my eyes then not handsome le. Hah.

By the way, yesterday i went to k-box with lucas, alan and lucas's friend, wei jie.

Lucas sing very well, his friend not bad either and alan improve drastically after hearing him sing that time.

*Wei Jie is also quite suave, together with lucas, their 'aura' is frightening.

i'm lousiest, no talent, no looks, all pimples. At earth waste resources only.

Unfilial son. No responsibility.

I sucks to the core.

And also after the k-box yesterday, i went home when i pass my causeway's point and saw a pasar malam. Of course i went to buy a peanut pancake. But i only have two 50 note, a dollar of coin. The pancake cost 80 cents, i wanted to buy 2.

I was ready to pay it, then the storekeeper ask me do i have any change and i said no.
She was like as if she saw an alien.
I mean, is it a big deal if i don't have small change?

Then a lady walk beside me, i have small change then she ask me how much i need, i was like very weird why she for no purpose help me? I was a complete stranger. I thought she was related to the storekeeper but she was not.

She give me a dollar, i thanked her of course, and when she wanted to buy pancakes the storekeeper said they sold out. I offered to give her mine, 1 for me 1 for her.

She said its ok.

I returned the change of 40 cents from the dollar she lended me, she just smiled.

From this, i realised kind people still exist in Singapore. A simple act like this really made my day. Thanks. I appreciate it.

True friends are rare

How true is that...

Today i quarrel with Billy.

I today receive a letter from my mother's friend, the one who open a starhub line 2+ years ago, then a couple of months ago, my expense of my bill was $400 plus because that time i regularly called to England.

I had no $ to pay up.

I had to zao loh.

Cancelled the line. Thought nothing would happen since they couldn't find that guy.

Then today, he came to my house, i was at school, he put the letter underneath my door.

It was a letter send a firm, via Starhub's instructions.

In it, its states the person to pay the bill immediately or face a possible legal action.

Then, i scared loh, i sms Billy ask him faster return me the $180 he owed me asap.

My sms was : "Hey you really got to save up or take ur ang pow $ return me asap liao. Im in big trouble liao, tat time my last starhub line they send the warning letter via a company to the owner of the line. Today he come my hse n put the letter under my door. I owed $457. You really got to help me le."

Then guessed what his reply was?

"tk frm ur mum la. y u nv pay?"

Then after seeing this, i damn fucking tulan loh, i mean what the fuck, you owed me the $ from Feb until now when you promised to return a week later. Then you THINK i fucking rich ar, everytime take from my mother, then you no need return my $ lah?!

CBK.

His maths so lousy meh? 1 week = 6 months.

Until now, i also never kp him to return, i just ask him faster return me only.

Furthermore the $ that time he lend from me was not for urgent use loh, its for buying the Sharp Vodafone handphone he wanted. T

That time he lied to his mum that he was selling his mitsubishi handphone to buy the Sharp handphone and asked her to give him $ to buy 1st and after his mitsubishi phone sold then he return her $.

The ironic thing is, he lend $ from me to return his mother $. How weird is that?

At that time, i had cash to spare because it was during the chinese new year mah, den i think he would by then return me with his ang pow $ next week.

How naive i was.

Haiz, he then dragged the payment and dragged. Everytime claiming he has $ return but a few days later he spend it, saying that i got to take it early from him as he finds it difficult to save up. ( I was in Malaysia helping my mum in the cafe at that point of time, so no time to take from him)

Then, i think a month or two ago, he was wooing a girl called Pearlyn, she wanted a Adidas Track Top which cost around $120+. I don't mind him buying for her because she was the lady he like, so obviously he had to buy something to show his appreciation.

But suddenly, things turned sour for them, he did not buy the track top, but since he didn't buy, i ask whether he has $ to return, the response was negative. Only $20 reached my wallet.

Back to topic:

I sms him back : "Wah lao..u tell me this type of thing now when i in nid of $? I tat time cancel the line n tot starhub cannot find where the person lived. The sum so big how to pay? Last time when i lend u the $ in feb u told me you would return me by next week. Den dragged until now i dun mind if i dun need the $ urgently, now i nid $ you tell me this type of thing? Wtf..i shouldn't lend you in the first place. Im very disapponted in u."

His reply was: "eh what the fuck u talking about? u say til like that. Knn. U call this friend. Nvm. U wan lke that, i try borrow $ frm friend 2 return u."

Mine: "But the tone of ur earlier reply suggust tat you dun care a damn abt me."

His: "as if u did give a damn about me."

Mine: "Ya la..so im in the fault right now? I just worried if the person tio legal action from starhub..den wad i gonna do? I cannot afford to pay the legal costs."

His final sms: " i return the 180 asap"

NB...Cb...now its my fault loh. I always give in to u loh, u so fucking stubborn.

After a long while, i logged into msn, my nick was " i have been very patient with you, i fucking disappointed with you", personal msg: "Friendship > $"

He then msn me:

"WhEn mY AtTiTuDe ToWaRdS U HaS ChAnGeD, iT wIlL nOt ChAnGe BacK aGaIn.. says: who is this msg for?

I have been very patient, i am fucking disappointed with you ~Lawrence~ ©7 days without laughter make one weak® says:u.

WhEn mY AtTiTuDe ToWaRdS U HaS ChAnGeD, iT wIlL nOt ChAnGe BacK aGaIn.. says:
u not happy just say la..

I have been very patient, i am fucking disappointed with you ~Lawrence~ ©7 days without laughter make one weak® says:
the sms u sent me "tk from ur mother la." i really tulan.

WhEn mY AtTiTuDe ToWaRdS U HaS ChAnGeD, iT wIlL nOt ChAnGe BacK aGaIn.. says:
CB

I have been very patient, i am fucking disappointed with you ~Lawrence~ ©7 days without laughter make one weak® says:
i dun like the tone.

WhEn mY AtTiTuDe ToWaRdS U HaS ChAnGeD, iT wIlL nOt ChAnGe BacK aGaIn.. says:
where's the prob?

WhEn mY AtTiTuDe ToWaRdS U HaS ChAnGeD, iT wIlL nOt ChAnGe BacK aGaIn.. says:
fuck you!

WhEn mY AtTiTuDe ToWaRdS U HaS ChAnGeD, iT wIlL nOt ChAnGe BacK aGaIn.. says:
what tone?

WhEn mY AtTiTuDe ToWaRdS U HaS ChAnGeD, iT wIlL nOt ChAnGe BacK aGaIn.. says:
where's the tone?

WhEn mY AtTiTuDe ToWaRdS U HaS ChAnGeD, iT wIlL nOt ChAnGe BacK aGaIn.. says:
since u take it that way

WhEn mY AtTiTuDe ToWaRdS U HaS ChAnGeD, iT wIlL nOt ChAnGe BacK aGaIn.. says:
it's ur prob..

I have been very patient, i am fucking disappointed with you ~Lawrence~ ©7 days without laughter make one weak® says:
the way i see it is tt way.

WhEn mY AtTiTuDe ToWaRdS U HaS ChAnGeD, iT wIlL nOt ChAnGe BacK aGaIn.. says:
so let it be..

WhEn mY AtTiTuDe ToWaRdS U HaS ChAnGeD, iT wIlL nOt ChAnGe BacK aGaIn.. says:
i dun give a fuck to someone who doesn't treat a friend like a friend..

I have been very patient, i am fucking disappointed with you ~Lawrence~ ©7 days without laughter make one weak® says:
i'm just asking u to return a portion of my $ so i can pay bit by bit to starhub. But u just tell to get it from my mum?

I have been very patient, i am fucking disappointed with you ~Lawrence~ ©7 days without laughter make one weak® says:
i dun treat u like friend? wad the fuck is tt?

WhEn mY AtTiTuDe ToWaRdS U HaS ChAnGeD, iT wIlL nOt ChAnGe BacK aGaIn.. says:
what's wrong with that?

WhEn mY AtTiTuDe ToWaRdS U HaS ChAnGeD, iT wIlL nOt ChAnGe BacK aGaIn.. says:
u like that also not happy..

WhEn mY AtTiTuDe ToWaRdS U HaS ChAnGeD, iT wIlL nOt ChAnGe BacK aGaIn.. says:
might as well dun ask..

WhEn mY AtTiTuDe ToWaRdS U HaS ChAnGeD, iT wIlL nOt ChAnGe BacK aGaIn.. says:
if i have $ u think i wont return:?

WhEn mY AtTiTuDe ToWaRdS U HaS ChAnGeD, iT wIlL nOt ChAnGe BacK aGaIn.. says:
cb i no $ thats y ask u to take from ur mum..

I have been very patient, i am fucking disappointed with you ~Lawrence~ ©7 days without laughter make one weak® says:
maybe is ur tone of ur msg i dun understand. Thats why i tulan den send u tt msg.

WhEn mY AtTiTuDe ToWaRdS U HaS ChAnGeD, iT wIlL nOt ChAnGe BacK aGaIn.. says:
where the tone come from?

WhEn mY AtTiTuDe ToWaRdS U HaS ChAnGeD, iT wIlL nOt ChAnGe BacK aGaIn.. says:
ur phone so high tech got tone all come out ar?

WhEn mY AtTiTuDe ToWaRdS U HaS ChAnGeD, iT wIlL nOt ChAnGe BacK aGaIn.. says:
u think that way..

WhEn mY AtTiTuDe ToWaRdS U HaS ChAnGeD, iT wIlL nOt ChAnGe BacK aGaIn.. says:
it'll be that way..

I have been very patient, i am fucking disappointed with you ~Lawrence~ ©7 days without laughter make one weak® says:
From the msg, u can tk it as i misinterpreted it.

WhEn mY AtTiTuDe ToWaRdS U HaS ChAnGeD, iT wIlL nOt ChAnGe BacK aGaIn.. says:
for nothing u think i give attitude for what fuck?

WhEn mY AtTiTuDe ToWaRdS U HaS ChAnGeD, iT wIlL nOt ChAnGe BacK aGaIn.. says:
so thats ur prob rite..

WhEn mY AtTiTuDe ToWaRdS U HaS ChAnGeD, iT wIlL nOt ChAnGe BacK aGaIn.. says:
non of my fucking business..

WhEn mY AtTiTuDe ToWaRdS U HaS ChAnGeD, iT wIlL nOt ChAnGe BacK aGaIn.. says:
i take it that ur first msg to me also damn fucking attitude..

I have been very patient, i am fucking disappointed with you ~Lawrence~ ©7 days without laughter make one weak® says:
which msg? the msg tt i said, " i was in trouble"?

WhEn mY AtTiTuDe ToWaRdS U HaS ChAnGeD, iT wIlL nOt ChAnGe BacK aGaIn.. says:
whatever la..

WhEn mY AtTiTuDe ToWaRdS U HaS ChAnGeD, iT wIlL nOt ChAnGe BacK aGaIn.. says:
just know that u spoil my fucking day..

WhEn mY AtTiTuDe ToWaRdS U HaS ChAnGeD, iT wIlL nOt ChAnGe BacK aGaIn.. says:
i try my best get the Fucking $180 and return u.

I have been very patient, i am fucking disappointed with you ~Lawrence~ ©7 days without laughter make one weak® says:
hope so.

WhEn mY AtTiTuDe ToWaRdS U HaS ChAnGeD, iT wIlL nOt ChAnGe BacK aGaIn.. says:
pls change ur fucking nick.

WhEn mY AtTiTuDe ToWaRdS U HaS ChAnGeD, iT wIlL nOt ChAnGe BacK aGaIn.. says:
thanks."

I had mixed reaction, the sad part is i lost a friend, the good part is i lost a stubborn, attitude friend.

Blood Donation

Wednesday 16/08 i went for the donation drive held in our school.

Reasons why i wanna donate blood:

1. I want to generate new blood


2. I want to help people in need


3. I bo liao


4. I want to try it, to experience it


5. I did it for the snacks + drink

Anway, it was a great experience and interesting.

Before that i was meeting Alan,Yingyu and Siti for the blood donation but in the end, i went in alone except with the freakies(u know who) in our class. Alan is sick and took medication the day before, Yingyu doesn't have enough Iron, and Siti forgot to bring her IC and doesn't have her EZ link card.

Before you are cleared to donate blood, you are required to fill up the form. Some questions regarding ur personal information (Sex life etc.) Some were funny though. E.g *For Female Donors: Did you have sex before with a male knowing that he had sex with another male before?

Damn stupid loh, where would women have sex with a guy knowing he's a gay?

But they are exceptions though.

After that, the people there would test if ur blood contain enough iron, but extracting ur blood from ur thumb, dropping into a blue solution, if ur blood sink to the bottom means you have enough. (Yingyu failed because of this)

Then came the real thing, before that, they gave me a jab to the numb the pain. The needle was quite thick for the blood transferring thing, nb..i damn scared loh..luckily got the numb jab or i faint liao.

After plugging the needle + tube to my arm, the blood flows pretty fast, within 5 mins, it was half-filled, but i was very tired, got to squeeze the soft toy on my left hand (doing pumping action) to ensure smooth blood of blood.

Very tired de lei.

Then, finish le, they wrap up the bandage on my arm.

*Does not have bluetooth at home will upload the pictures of my blood donation pictures next time.

Today i watched The Fast And The Furious Tokyo Drift with Priscilla,Ka Wing, Ying Yu, Wen Ting, Wei Sheng and Belinda at the cathay cineplex.



The movie was pretty cool.

The Fast & Furious Tokyo Drift

Of course, the perfect formulae for a guaranteed box office hit, fast cars + hot chicks = great movie.

The movie was pretty decent, the cars although the design lost abit of its attractiveness compared to 2 Fast 2 Furious, but the drifting pretty eye-catching. So were the girls =) Especially Nathalie Kelley.

With a female lead this hot, its not surprising why we can't take our eyes off the screen.

One of the scene shows a car drift towards the curved slope to the top of the car park.

One word.

Cool.

After the movie, we were engaged in post-movie chat, i was saying about the japanese guy, Satoshi Tsumabuki, the guy who starred in the film for just...15 seconds, his diagloue were only," GO!". Two words.

He was the male lead, in the popular movie, Waters Boys (2001).

This guy's popularity in Japan are second to none.

I wish i had his looks.

But why the director only cast him for 15 seconds and spoke only 2 fucking words?

Macham like extras like that.

He was loaded with filming projects in Japan, the schedule hence, was not ideal for him to act in a major role in that film.

However, the director was very determined to put him in the film, and that explains it.

The way, he shouted "Go!" was damn cool loh, even though 2 words only, maybe his "aura" affected me bah.

Ying yu, Pris and co. thought i was talking crap (eat too much crab le), but it was true, i read that article in The Newpaper.Ying yu and Priscilla had other thoughts. They said Han was more handsome and cool. Who's Han? Han's restaurant boss?

His name was Han in the film, real name was Sung Kang. Korean. His looks was very normal only loh, average joe. But maybe his character in the movie played to his advantage, his dialgoue and role was the 'suave' type.

Act cool only, i also know how. =p

After watching this movie, i realise that if you want to learn the technic of streets racing you cannot stay in Singapore. Speed past 100 km/hr already police cars chase you, how to race? Drifting. Singapore people all only know half bucket of water want de lah..act know only.

Anyway after the movie, we go the open area food court near centrepoint have my dinner, then we all parted, i go meet Zhang Jie lend Dreamweaver book from him.

~Phew that was a long entry. I very lo soh.

I could not find my desired templates for my blog, as a result, my first post dragged from sunday to tuesday.

Went to Johor Bahru on saturday 05/08/2006, alot hilarious things happened. That day was my brother's friend, Sonia's Grandmother's Birthday, they held a BBQ at their kampong house at Pontian (if i'm not wrong). It was Sonia's Grandmother's birthday but what's that gonna do with me?

Hehe.

Food. =)

No lah! I'm just bored. I go wherever my brother goes, if not, i be staying at the Penthouse-my step mum's cafe-watch tv programmes and eat the whole day, how boring is that?

Anyway, its been awhile since i went to a kampong village. (Mentioning this, i suddenly remembered a player named Pimpong, who plays for Ghana in the World Cup. His face was fucking funny, and yea it looks like a ping pong.)

But hey, it wasn't the kampong i was expecting.

I was expecting wooden planks supporting the stucture of the home they have been living, but it was concrete. I don't know i was dumb or what, or my mind was lagged behind in time.

By the time we arrived, most of the food were already finished. The scraps was left. By 'scraps', i meant the food was pretty decent. There will be ALOT of food if we're not late.

Sonia and co set up a bench sit and open a table for us. Husky-my bro's good friend- was the first to settle down and was ready to have his meal, i was about to sit down and eat, my hand touch the bench (usually before u sit down, you would 'feel' the chair) and the bench COLLAPSE! It was fucking fucking funny, i couldn't control my laughter! Imagine even before your lips even touch the food, you were on the ground, every eyes was on you, most of them laughing uncontrollably.

If my laughter were to continue like this for the current month, i can get a 6 pack already loh. With facial muscles a full body work out, its possible. Lame. You would say. Get me a wheel chair then.

Afterward, Husky kept emphazing and kp that i was heavy thats why the bench collapsed but i didn't even sit down. Did he meant that my hand was 70Kg? I don't think so. The 'legs' of the bench was not even spread properly, thats why dumbo!

As we settled down, having our meals, the aunt of Sonia was at the opposite table, kp and kp, slam the table, making alot of noise. She was drunk. Another aunt of Sonia (i'm not sure if its her aunt) couldn't bear it and slap her face and told her to shut up and scram.
Of course after that decisive slap, hell broke loose. They were having a go at each other, others tried to hold them back.

Then, one uncle lost his temper when persuading and screaming wasn't an option. He shouted at the drunkard, "GO HOME! ANYTHING, SETTLED TOMORROW!" She refused, was on her knees when others attempt to forcibly drag her to the car. Then he use the box containing ice + water, splash it at her.

Nb. I was wet. Luckily a little tio me only or else if my handphone was damaged he would get a taste of Law's wrath!

Finally, of course she was dragged to her car and somebody drove her home.

Overall i don't think its the drunkard fault, because when you're drunked, you can do anything unexpected. Some will quietly doze off, others will behave like a noisy bitch.

What a drama.

Violence isn't the solution.

Drinking cost problems. =)